Hime Monogatari

Time Heals The Deepest Wounds

2010-08-12T00:36:00.000-06:00

I can't hold back the tears. It hurts to be used by the one you were beginning to love. Instead of playing around, you could have told me the truth. Micho oppa was right.

I don't need you.

Some Things...

2010-08-01T16:10:00.001-06:00

Some things have no purpose, have no beginning or end. Some things should be left alone, untouched, and undisturbed.

So let me stop breathing and you will be happy.

Hey 空...

2010-07-28T02:27:00.001-06:00

Was what I felt "love"? Or is it an illusion? I don't know you, you don't know me. So why are we like this?

Today, you saw how happy I was just from seeing my "prince" for a few minutes. I'm not sure if he did notice me or not. But there was that moment of excitement and happiness. Honestly, that very moment, I did not act whatsoever. It was all natural. I didn't hold back anything. I don't know myself anymore. I don't know how to judge myself. So please, tell me. Do I truly like this boy whom I barely know?

That sudden encounter with him...
made my heart skip a beat.

Confessions

2010-07-26T08:27:00.001-06:00

puddle again by ~far-away-near

Lately, it had been raining continuously. I think this is what caused my sudden sickness. ㅡ.ㅡ Honestly, I rarely get sick. When I say sick, I mean fever, and headache. It's quite depressing to get sick over the summer. But I guess it was my fault for leaving the windows open while it rained overnight. When it comes to rain, and being sick, it only reminds me of one thing: puddles. As a child, I loved running in the rain without a raincoat or umbrella. I still do, but it was much funner back then. Whenever I get sick after running in the rain, my grandma would always scold me to getting sick. But to me, it was all worth it, jumping in the puddles, poking earthworms with a stick, not caring about my own health. That was the fun, childhood days. Now, it's always dressing up for the weather, hoping it wont rain or snow, enjoying the hot summer days. Even though I've been hating on the rain lately, I do wish it would come back again.

Ten Confessions On July 26, 2010.
1. I finally admit that I hold the camera weird. ㅡ.ㅡ
2. I always look down on my feet when I feel light headed.
3. I fall down the stairs when I feel light headed... or when my foot's asleep.
4. Yes, I try to walk when both of my feet are asleep.
5. I eat a lot. Can't deny that.
6. My sleeping order is always messed up.
7. I like waking up at 4 in the afternoon.
8. I like sleeping on the floor.
9. I'm not done my modules. ㅡ.ㅡ Stupid summer school.
10. I like it when he calls me 애기~ ☺

::☆ ᵇᵅᵇᵞ友世』's Quick Updates:
╔════════════════════════════════════════════════✰
║➡ Sora and I are sick again
║➩ Overload on stress.
║➡ Sora's birthday party coming up
║➩ Sora's been missing Yano a lot
║➡ I've... been lonely without my "prince"
║➩ Yano is apparently bringing him to Sora's party
║➡ Last day to hand in modules, yet still procrastinating
║➩ This random korean guy made me laugh
║➡ Random dreams lately... 이상해
╚════════════════════════════════════════════════✰

Stop

2010-07-20T03:01:00.001-06:00

girls love by 여우누리

"In the game of love, the one who loves less has an advantage."

I have to admit, that is true. But who wins or lose, it doesn't matter. Because in the end, you both loved, both stopped loving. What if love is not a game to the other person?

"Just like how your feet get tired for walking for a long time. Your feelings get tired for loving someone who doesn't return your feelings for a long time."

Then, why don't you stop loving?

"Because you can't control these feelings with your mind."

I Think I Love You, 그런가봐요--- I'm Falling For You, 난 몰랐지만---

2010-07-16T00:50:00.000-06:00

"I Think I Love You, 그런가봐요"
---Do I really?

"I'm Falling For You, 난 몰랐지만"
---Am I really?

Everything was colorful. It's like one of those anime scenes... where all you can see are lights from a distance. There were shadows of people. I was different, I was transparent, almost invisible. There was no one who can see me. I see these people who stood out from everyone. There was Sora and Yano. I tried running towards them, but my feet were frozen. I couldn't do anything. I wanted to cry. The two didn't notice me. I was too far to be taken note of. Too transparent to see. It started raining, I started crying with the sky. I broke my promise again, I cried with the sky. This gave me more reason to cry. I knew from when I was a little kid, whenever I cry in the rain, I wouldn't be able to stop. But I couldn't help it.

There was only one person that noticed me, he sheltered me with an umbrella. I didn't want to look up and show him my crying face, so I didn't, but I suddenly stopped crying. I wanted to say "thank you" but words couldn't form in my mouth. Instead, he tilted his head, low enough to catch a glimpse of my face. He said "you're welcome." I slightly bowed, and walked away from him. He said "where are you going?" I didn't reply. A part of me wanted to stay, the other part wanted to run. I didn't know why I wanted to stay, but I knew why I wanted to run. I didn't to see him like this. I didn't want him to see me like a fool. Just... what am I trying to tell myself?

I don't even know.
But.
If I...
end up liking this boy.
I want to run away.
There is no reason to like him.
.....
But..when you are in love.
Reasons aren't necessary.

Am I really slowly, secretly, falling for him?

애기야

2010-07-15T02:31:00.000-06:00

러브멜로디 by ColorCode

I know I don't have the right to say this. But I hate it, don't ever refer to me as "애기야." Yes, it was just for fun. But I absolutely hate it. Call me what ever you want, just not 애기야. Only one person can call me 애기야. You are nowhere near to where he is. If we do happen to see each other again, I will acknowledge you, just don't ever call me 애기야.

When The Sky Cries

2010-07-15T00:43:00.001-06:00

Rain by ~brade-s

"It rains because the sky is crying. If there's a rainbow after the rain, the sky shed happy tears. If there isn't, the sky shed tears of sorrow. Even if the sky cries, that doesn't mean you have to."

You were the one who spoke those words. It was back then, when we were both little children, probably around the age of six. The day I met you, the sky was crying, so was I. Without a clue of my current situation, you approached me without hesitating. You we not afraid of me, even though everyone had warned you not to approach me.

Recently, it's been raining. The rain reminds me of you. The rain, it reminds me of your smell, your voice, and your touch. If I had the chance, I would have held you in my arms, just like always. If I had the chance, I didn't want to see you disappear with my own eyes. Just like a flash, you were gone. If I had once wish, it would be for you to stay.

You were the only one I trusted with my whole life.
No.
You are the only one I trust with my whole life.

"I will not cry with the sky. I promise."

Where to?

2010-07-11T19:59:00.000-06:00

airplane. by *iheartcolours

"Why can't you go home?"

I woke up with the wind whistling through my window, the blinds crashing against the window sill. The winter blanket was covering my face, though I knew I was alone in this house, I was glad no one could see the tears in my eyes. Another dream, yet I don't see why I would cry about such a thing. It was nothing new to me, it did not seem like it would hurt me emotionally, he is someone who can't hurt me emotionally. We don't even know each other. This feeling, I believe it is not real. But, even now, it bothers me. Why did I cry because of a dream about him? He's not important to me, well not yet. If he does become important, then I wouldn't know what to do. I think, I would run away.

Run away, that's all I've done my whole life. I always run away from everything, avoiding them. I even ran away from "home". I would want to come back, though there is no point, they were never my family in the first place. What I do not understand, is why others hate their home. They have always told me how it is their sanctuary, where they spent most of their childhood, the place they love. Yet, when I offer to go back, they would simply avoid this suggestion. I want to go home. To see him, to greet him, to be with him and to apologize.

I miss you. I wish time stopped back then, so we could still be together. In the same place, in the same time. Do you not know? I still love you.

Answer Me, "When Can I Fly Again?"

2010-07-09T23:29:00.000-06:00

This Child's Wings by *mree

There is a small child who always come to see me every now and then. She and I have a few similarities, her way of talking, attitude, even her appearance. She has a distinctive voice, with just one word from her mouth, I would be able to recall her recent reports, or rather stories. She is just a child, I would always say, Yet she tries so hard to grow older. I was once the same, no... I still am. This little girl's words, they would remind me of her previous stories. On her every visit, she would tell me something new. She once approached me with her own notebook, this time she did not speak. After a few visits, I have noticed she no longer spoke, she just wrote silently. Her first written story, I remembered very well. Even now I would look back to it, this was what made write. This was what made her stop speaking. Even now, she would not speak, she would write, though it is her smile that would make me happy. Her angelic smile, I would want to see with her angelic voice.

I woke up with a light, soft touch of a pure white feather on my right cheek. An unfamiliar environment I observed, I was down on human land. Sitting up straight rather quickly, I felt a large stinging pain on my back. Glancing past my shoulder, tears began to form from the glands of my eyes. My wings, those pure, untouched, blessed wings, destroyed and torn into pieces. What have I deserved to have fallen this hard? My bleach white feathers, now stained with pure dark red blood. It was no one else's but mine. This sight, I did not want to see, I felt sick and disgusted by myself. I could not stand the sight of my own blood. Without realizing a thing, I was staring right at the clouds. I then thought, Shouldn't I be there? That is my home. I want to be there. Just as I was about let myself bleed endlessly, a dark silhouette shadowed over me. It was a boy, his features were almost as pure as the angelic boys back home, we were around the same age.

This boy, I could not understand his face expressions, we could not converse. He brought me to a cottage nearby, he treated my wounds. His heart, I assumed was pure. I thought this until he had imprisoned me in this cottage. Every now and then, he would knock on the door, bringing food, and a bandage to replace the one he had wrapped on my wounds the day before. There were no windows in this cottage, only a door. Even though it was small, this cottage held enough appliances and furniture for one to live. He did not speak to me, nor did he smile.

During his last visit, I had tried to speak to him. He understood me, yet did not respond in any way. He locked the door gently, he did not leave. His footsteps did not echo, he must have been sitting outside, waiting for something... or someone. I stood right beside the door, pressing my body against the chilled wooden wall, waiting for him to open the door. He did not. I listened for a single motion from outside, there was none. Many hours had passed, no change had been done. I walked away from door, into the center of the room, then the lock was unlatched, the door opened. The boy had given me something unusual. It was the remains of my wings, bleached white, sewn together with a strap for my arms to go through. I took a step towards him, he moved away. I reached for his flawless face, he gripped my fragile hands, preventing a single brush.

I did not dare talk, but my heart spoke, Answer Me, "When Can I Fly Again?" The boy replied to my question, You can't. With that he had once again fled, locking me up in this lonely cottage. My fingers traced the wings he had sewn together, observing them. These feathers, they were not mine. The feathers, they were much rougher than mine, they were painted white. They did not belong to me, belong to another one like me, they were his.

This Time

2010-07-07T20:41:00.000-06:00

A Coffee Love by =cartoongirl7

Mr.곰, it's been a while. A very long while that is. The first thing I wanted to ask was, "why do you always suddenly walk in and out of my bubble?" Every time you leave, I say "there is no way I can trust you." But... every time you come back, I say "I'm always honest with you, I would lie to anyone. Except you." This friendship, 'till when will we keep it up? If you leave and come back again, shall I trust you once more? The answers to these questions, I don't really know. I has only been eleven months since I've met you. It has only been eleven months since I decided to be your best friend. It has only been this long...yet I'm already afraid to lose you. How, is the question. How did we become so close? So close we cannot even cut our connection, how? Even if I do not remember, you will remind me, right? Even if it is painful, you will bear it, right? Even if the world falls apart, you will stay, right? I trust you, still. I trust you, so do not play me in this game. Please, find a clue. I don't want to play. Please, notice the obvious, I cannot love. Please, just stop. I know I brought it onto myself. Even so, please don't make me love once again, at least someone who cannot love me back. Mr.곰, you have been taking care of my star, I realy thank you for that. But no matter what happens, do not stop taking care of my star, even if I stumble, do not let my star go. Treasure it, love it, and do not break it. When I leave, Keep my star shining. Thank you, I love you too.

So Sudden

2010-07-02T19:49:00.000-06:00

PolarbearxApple by Pochi chan

I honestly do not know how to express my feelings. Today was too confusing for me. With hopes of seeing Umi to accompany me to get my phone fixed, I ended up spending half the day with someone else. Yano. He was with his usual friends, of course, but somehow I felt nervous around him. It's been too long since I've talked to him so comfortably. When he asked, "Am I still your best friend?" I was surprised, I thought he had forgotten that I labelled him as my best friend. It made me feel warm and content inside, knowing that he hadn't forgotten. But what made me really happy, was the fact that most of the things he had asked me were about Sora. I wanted to say, "Why don't you two just go out?" But I knew I wasn't "allowed" to say that. I knew he has a girlfriend. I knew she has a boyfriend. I knew I wasn't "allowed" to give him a hint. Because she is the one who is supposed to tell him, not me. I want to tell him, I want to tell her, I want this story to finally begin. I wanna play them around, confuse them, so they can end up on the same page. But right now, I can't. Not yet.

In other news, $@*%!@#@*$#! Yes, I wanna rant. YANO'S FRIENDS ARE FRKN CREEPY OKAY?! CREEPY. But, one of them are cute~ :3 Just saying!

Okay, I'm done. ^^

I really hope Sora comes back soon. I miss her~ >_<;

Wowza~

2010-07-01T00:21:00.000-06:00

nerdy bunny by ~zenzy

^^ 어머나~! So happy and content at the moment~! Well, I got my phone~ yayz~! And! And! And! I'm making cursors~! And! And! It's only been three days since I posted my layout on BlogSkins and it got 46 downloads already~! I'm actually happy about that. Honestly, I give up denying that I'm a nerd. I only think that I'm not a nerd since I always think that things like these are always learned when they're younger...like around 12 years old or so. 'Cause that's when I was introduced to major designer stuff, and yes, I got promoted and was asked to make animations and layouts at the age of 13. I did decline though. Since my mother told me to study in school, not waste my time on such things. Well~ Thank you to Umi for telling me to post my layouts online~! ^^
ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

Well, on other news, I'm supposed to be managing all online stuff for Sora, since she's currently in Vancouver, camping and doing other fun stuff. [That's fun, right?] But honestly, I have no clue what I'm supposed to do. So~! Imma just uh... manage her Tinier Me account. ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

어머나~!!! I'm too happy~ Wellz~ that's all so far. ^^ Just too happy, and wishing that Sora will come back soon. > < 보고싶언대~!!

The Other World

2010-06-29T21:28:00.000-06:00

Parallel Worlds by *j-b0x

Well~ I was cleaning up my Story Binder the other day, and I happened to find an old story I once wrote. It's a short story, but Once I read this part, I wanted to continue it. ^^ Hope you guys like it~

I've always wondered, "What if my world is just like how I want it?" Everyone had thought of this at least once. There is that one thought of perfecting your own world, wishing everything is how you want it to be. Even though I am a pretty lucky child, I've been feeling this way for the past week. I covered it up by occupying myself with extra-curricular activities.

M
y

L
i
f
e

I
s

A

L
i
e

But no, I can't lie to myself like this and say, "No, I don't have a problem. Everything is perfectly fine." This "problem" I have, it is very common I believe. I try to avoid it, yet I always find my light-washed clothing tainted dark red, my trembling hands stained with blood. I hate it. I absolutely hate it. I'm not normal like this.

Only if I could rewrite my own story, then I absolutely would make everything, myself "normal."

What's Up Lately?

2010-06-29T04:14:00.000-06:00

So~ I've been...fangirling. Not even gonna lie. And lately, I've been really into making layouts that I hardly ever sleep. Well, that's a lie, I sleep during the day, which horribly messes up my sleeping order. [Speaking of...yeah 미안 to Sora 언니... I woke up at 4 in the afternoon, I couldn't meet you. > <]

So~ I made a Blogskins account, finally. Well, honestly, I hate keeping old layouts in my documents and whatnots, so I just delete them. But Umi told me it's such a waste so I decided to post them up on Blogskins. Speaking of layouts~ I made a new layout, again. :] Well, if you count Wonseungi, then two. I have no clue, but I'm on the roll lately. And gif images!! I'm addicted to them~ same with swf files~! I think they're amazing. So I've been coped up in my room, fangirling, and making a bunch random stuff on the computer. Yes,I sound like a loner. But at least I entertain myself.

Wells, tomorrow I get a phone~ finally~! ^^ My uncle from New Zealand sent me money to buy a phone~ so yeah~! And no, I'm not getting the LG Icecream = = really now, that's very expensive. Well, you're probably wondering why I have that image up there if I'm not getting that phone. Well, I stumbled upon that old CF video a few days ago. And yes, I'm currently addicted to that CF. Well, 1. because Kim Taehee's amazingly gorgeous and her voice is nice and smooth~ 2.Big Bang is just cute, falling for Taehee like that. 3.I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THE SCENERY. IT'S SOOO DAMN CUTE. I might make a layout using this CF as a theme. Ahahahahah just kidding. My current project this summer: make layouts using the new albums of the groups I love~! Well, that's two down, many more to go. Well, I'm actually thinking of making another Super Junior one. 'Cause they re-packed their album.... so new pictures~! ^^

Yay for fangirling~ :D

"Love, Do you still remember?"

2010-06-27T00:25:00.000-06:00

commission-rabibear by *yoonsik

I'm sorry I have forgotten,
I knew there was something missing,
but I could not remember.

It had been so long,
How long has it really been?
Too long to remember.

Or maybe I was too occupied with something else,
I truly do not know,
But I still wish for you to come back.

If I could bring back the past,
I would,
Just for you.

So you would not drift away once again,
Staying here,
And never leave my side.

But I know for sure,
You will never return,
But I will keep my promise.

I will remember you,
No matter how long,
I will still remember you.

My Current Paradise

2010-06-26T13:47:00.000-06:00

SO~ I think everyone knows by now how I'm currently obsessed with D-NA (Dae Guk Nam Ah/대국남아). I even posted their live performance on YT in HD >//<. ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ Anywho~ this a fangirl spam. So, if you don't like fangirls then go away. Just kidding :D. So~ I really like their new song, Stumble Stumble(비틀비틀). I think they have really nice voices, specially HyunMin. And while watching them perform and what not, most of them look like younger versions of the idol groups. Like Super Junior and SHINee, etc.

Like really, watching Mika is like watching Sungmin.
And watching Karam is like watching Taemin.
It kinda freaked me out, but I did a lot stalking ㅎㅎㅎㅎ and comparing between the look-a-likes, and I'm not so weirded out by it anymore. ^^

A lot of people are fans of Jay and Karam, well...
1. Because Jay is 15 (he's the maknae) and he's the rapper/dancer.
2. Because Karam has a baby face and is cute.

Honestly, the first person I noticed was Mika, 'cause he's the lead singer. But after watching Admiring Boy/Tokyo Boy last year, I liked Hyunmin oppa~! I like his voice~ And then! I liked InJoon~ ㅎㅎㅎ~ Even though the main focus on Admiring Boy was Jay, I thought InJoon was really cute in that video. ^//^
BUT!
After watching Stumble Stumble, I just kinda....freaked out.
Why?
Well, because I had my eye on InJoon and Hyunmin the whole time, I had made an awkward discovery,
o____o;
INJOON OPPA LOOKS LIKE IZUKI.
From certain angles, but nevertheless, I still like InJoon. ☺ He kinda reminds of Yoochun~
-sigh- I miss DBSK.

Anywho~ InJoon oppa~ Hyunmin oppa~ saranghae~!♥
이인준 오빠~♡
우현민 오빠~♡
화이팅~♡

And All Works Well

2010-06-24T12:06:00.000-06:00

Little Bunny: 1 of 3 by =MoogleGurl

I don't know why but I'm really happy lately. Maybe because I finally finished coding this layout? Or maybe because I finally restored my laptop back to it's factory-form? I don't really know... but I'm satisfied with myself lately. Oh~ I've noticed a lot of things about myself, too. I started eating cereal. Honestly, I don't ever eat cereal. I thought it was kinda gross how you put milk on it.... and it becomes all soggy and gross. But! Anyhow~ I now officially eat cereal~ it may sound a little stupid, but it's a huge accomplishment for me.

Another thing, I've been addicted to Begelfuls lately. They're really good for a quick breakfast~ But really, it's like bagels on-the-go~ ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ Wells~ gotta clean now and study > < Aish~ so much things to do.

Results Of Being Anti-Social

2010-06-20T17:38:00.000-06:00

Perfect Match by *yuumei

Well~ first of all~ Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there. Honestly, today's the first day I've ever said that particular phrase. Even though many people had told me to greet my father, obviously I couldn't bring myself to. Well, I never call him dad, or father, or even daddy. Even though he is my father, it doesn't feel like he is. He was never there for me. It doesn't feel right to call him by a name, or even talk to him in general. So~ in conclusion, I give my greetings to everyone who is a father out there~! ^^;

Halo Halo by ~xXAssWeeXx, halo halo by =kayj7383,
Halo-halo by ~aleste37, favorite summer merienda by ~kill2heal

Second of all~ [is that even a phrase?] I ate Halo-Halo yesterday~! :3 [Short description: Halo-Halo is a common dessert in Philippines made up of shaved ice, evaporated milk, ice cream, beans and other sweet stuff~] I haven't had some since I last visited Philippines, which is...around 2-3 years ago. But really, it doesn't taste as good as the ones in Philippines ㅠㅠ. Sometimes I really wish Philippines is close enough to drive to... OR! THEY CAN BUILD A BRIDGE SO WE CAN DRIVE THERE~ ....okay now I'm just imagining stuff. Anywhoo~ I miss Philippines. Even though living there is a survival course everyday, it would be nice to visit. And visit many people too.

Cruel Angels Project @ LifeIsSoCruel

So~ moving on~! ^^ I have found... this horrifying anime otaku. Yes, when I horrifying, IT IS HORRIFYING. Like, I understand anime is very popular and what not. BUT OMG THIS GIRL IS CRAZY. Or rather... HER GROUP IS FRKN CRAZY. Honestly, she can't even speak Japanese. But she does dance covers for anime songs and what not. BUT HOLY SHIT SHE ACTUALLY DEBUT AS A FRKN SINGER IN JAPAN?! WTH HAS THE WORLD DONE?! Anyways.... Here are some videos of ~~that weirdo~~Beckii Cruel and her group Cruel Angels. So apparently there's eight of them? But one of them [Gemma] can actually sing... surprisingly.

What If

2010-06-19T22:51:00.000-06:00

It's Okay by *yuumei

What if...
I never existed?
He never met I?
She never spoke to I?
They never approached I?
The Dog never followed I?
The Sea never spoke to I?
The Sky never attracted I?

What if...
He never chose her, but I?
She never ran away, but stayed right here?
They never saw me as a princess, but a monster?
The Dog stayed with her, not I?
The Sea whistled a different direction?
The Sky turned gray, not blue?

What if...
He loved I?
She stayed with the Dog?
They chased someone else?
The Dog didn't find out about him?
The Sea never taught the Sky?
The Sky was left alone?

What if...
He never existed?
She never existed?
They never existed?
The Dog never existed?
The Sea never existed?
The Sky never existed?

What if this story never existed?

What Am I To You?

2010-06-18T21:00:00.000-06:00

Project WE Promotional Art 8 by *yuumei

I want to hear it from you.
Only you.
Only one thing.
What am I to you?

Am I that horrifying to look at?
Does my monstrous behavior disgust you?
Is my touch that hurtful to you?
Are my words shattering your world?

My face, you no longer smile at.
My actions, you no longer notice.
My gentle hug, you no longer embrace.
My voice, you no longer listen to.

No, I have never deceived you.
No, I did not want to abandon you.
No, I did not mean to shatter your perfect life.
No, I am not pretending to be anyone else.

I do not speak to you so I won't be a burden to you.
I walked away from you so you wont see how weak I am.
I let myself in your life because I care about you.
I have only faked one thing in front of you: my smile.

Yes, I am hideous.
I am disgusting.
I am reckless.

I am a monster.

Unprepared

2010-06-18T19:24:00.000-06:00

Guardian by *meago

As of this early morning, as in around 2am, I realized I had a math final to write at 3pm. Foolish? Yes. Surprising? No. Honestly, I hardly ever take life seriously, well my school life that is. For the last two weeks of classes, I only attended three days of my math class. As expected, no I did not study for this final. I didn't think of it as a big deal, and I still don't. Yes, I know I will suffer the consequences later, but like hell I care. (-┏) Yes, I must admit that I was panicking about the exam before I took it. But really, when I sat there and looked through the booklet, I thought, "Am I really that lazy to fall into this class?" It's true that I don't try my best in school, and if I did, that would be a miracle. Maybe if I tried even just a little bit, then I wouldn't have to take exams that are too easy. Anywho, on the good side, I knew exactly everything that I needed to know for the test. ^^ I actually have a good feeling about this one. Though when I was on the last two questions, I had to go to the bathroom really badly.... so I just guessed and didn't bother reading the question. (-┏)

So~ now it's time to explain the title. [evil laugh] >:D ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
Just kidding.
Unprepared, it has a certain ring to it. Life is full of surprises. Many people are ready to brace themselves for what ever life brings. I, on the other hand, runs carefree into the world, not even looking at the path I'm running on. I just let the thorns rip my flesh, let the branches bruise my skin, and let the rain brush my tears away. I was always unprepared for what's coming at me. But that also meant, I'm unprepared to spread my wings and fly. I recover, bounce back, and cover up the pain quickly. But one thing I absolutely cannot do is let the memories go, let all this pain go. I'm too attached to them, not because the memories of pain is all I've got, but because in those memories there is at least one hint of happiness.

On the day I let go,
On the day I forget,
On the day I move on,
Will be the day I erase my name,
Will be the day I erase my personality,

That will be the day I erase my whole self.

Last

2010-06-15T19:31:00.000-06:00

"When did I last stare out the window?"
"When did I last lay on a field?"
"When did I last sit on a rooftop?"
"When did I last dance in the rain?"
"When did I last catch a snowflake?"
"When did I last make a wish?"
"When did I last reach for a star?

image from SJ-Market

"When did I last look at you?"

Four Months

2010-06-15T01:35:00.000-06:00

While looking through my history on Google Chrome, I have come to realize that I did not take the time to really look at may of the pages I have clicked/visited. Running through them once again, I noticed things that I did not before, no it's not because they updated, but because I did not look at it piece by piece.

There is one thing that caught my attention though, it is this song. It made me think about may things. Before I even watched the video of this song, I started thinking, I haven't lost yet, but I have't won either, so I'll keep running until I reach my limit.

Game Over.

2010-06-15T00:23:00.000-06:00

Joker 1 by ~Hidden-Realms

"Past."
"Present."
"Future."

-Black Card-Red Card-Black Card-

"Words."
"Images."
"Dreams."

-Red Card-Black Card-Black Card-

"Illusions."
"Lies."
"Beauty."

-Black Card-Red Card-Black Card-

"Promises."
"Wishes."
"Trust."

-Black Card-Black Card-Black Card-

My Shining Star

2010-06-08T10:26:00.000-06:00

My Shining Star by *JimmyJaszczurka

I thought I was able to shine, and have your hand to hold while looking at me. I cannot shine anymore, I've had enough. No, it wasn't you that made me weak and worn out. But everyone else. I want to keep holding your hand and stay by your side forever, but I don't have enough strength to keep holding on. All this time, the one thing I was afraid of is letting you go. I know it seemed like I was the one always ahead and wondering off. But right now, I stopped and you keep moving. I want to hold your hand again. Come back. Escape with me, from this cruel world that imprisoned us. I want to go back to the past, when it was just us, no one else. Just us.

Dear Diary,

2010-06-07T17:49:00.000-06:00

•소라 언니, 보고싶었어
•으미 언니, 보고싶었어
•야노 오빠, 보고싶었어
•신 오빠, 보고싶었어
•이주기 오빠, 보고싶었어
•머리야 아파
•가슴이야 아파
•아직도 나 그대를 잊지 못해
•아직도 나 그대를 사랑합니다

»난 정말 바보야◦•

Past Present Future

2010-06-04T19:57:00.000-06:00

바보야. 난 아직도 당신을 사랑.

Stop and Go

2010-06-04T00:32:00.000-06:00

my left socks by =popoks

I really have no clue what I'm doing to myself. I haven't been sleeping, I'm cutting down on food, and have been wanting to keep a lot to myself lately. So, if I still see that shrink I once had, she would totally tell me this is a very unhealthy state. Gawd, I'm so glad she's gone, I hate reporting to her every week. Anyhow, it is now 12:40am, and no I am not going to sleep yet. Besides, I don't feel tired + I have to learn all this shit that missed....'cause I've been really out of it lately, so I skipped all my classes last week. That was horrible. Sometimes, I really wish I can stop moving forward, and just freeze right now, but I know I can't. I want more time to think about a lot of things, but I don't have it, I can't have it either. I just have to deal with what I have right now, and keep hoping that I'll have more of it in the future. I think I"m gonna be like this for a while, I need time to think, I don't wanna see anyone at all. I don't wanna talk to anyone at all.

But right now, what's pissing me off is this scab on my hand... which is now bleeding, okay maybe it was a bad idea to pick on it. Whatever, it'll heal sometime. Anywho, I haven't heard from Luna in a while, hopefully her drinking party goes well on Saturday. I haven't really hung out with Sora since Saturday and Sunday, and I'm most likely not going to for a long while. I haven't been thinking alone lately, which bothers me, 'cause usually I talk to myself, trying to figure things out. Yes, I may sound like a total lunatic, but whatever, I like talking to myself, it's almost like having a twin. :3 *yawn* Damn, I'm getting tired, but I have to read this whole section gahhhh!!! Well, I'm gonna continue studying, so farewell~ for now~

::: (\_(\
*: (=’ :’) :*
•.. (,(”)(”)¤°.

Breathe

2010-05-31T23:45:00.000-06:00

Run Scattered by Imo518
These words repeat in my head multiple times,
Start over.
How many times have I asked for a "second chance?"
Too many times.
I keep telling myself, I will not make the same mistake twice.
I guess I was wrong.
I keep telling myself, I will not be destroyed by the same hands as before.
Wrong again.
The moment I decided to live, I said,
I will not fall ever again.
I will not force a smile, but I will smile because I am happy.
I will not stop running until I reach the end.
I will forget the past.
Out of all of those promises to myself, not a single one was fulfilled.
Instead, I placed myself in the situation I was in two years ago.
Every breath I take, the memories burn my lungs.
The memories stabs my heart.
The memories still lingers, killing me softly.
The misery I possess,
I simply cannot explain,
But I would like to ask you to do me one favour,
Don't try to catch me.
I want to get hurt.
I want to cry.
I want to endure it by myself.
I want to learn to stand by myself.
I want to start over without anyone's help.

Run

2010-05-28T19:36:00.000-06:00

Escaping from her pointless dream, she stared up the ceiling letting her mind wander off. Every breath she took, left her chest pounding in pain, her head hammering repeatedly like a jackhammer. She let herself fall onto the ground, tears once again falling down her cheeks. Her tears would not stop, they kept flowing endlessly. Being alone... always leave her thinking about questions. Questioning herself, questioning life itself. Living this far in life, did it really mean something? Living this far in life, will she live long enough to answer the only question she had always had? Taking deep breath, she glanced towards her right; she knew she’d always end up in this same place, a room with no windows. She monitored the machine just nearby, she blankly stared at the red light on it, then slowly examined the faint red light on a clip attached on her forefinger. At this rate, her mood will always stay down low, unhappy. This prison, it keeps her alive, but also kills her emotions and her soul. What it takes to free her from this prison, it’s almost impossible to obtain. Her only solution: run, keep running while hoping life would end itself rather quickly. Her motivation to keep her running: happiness. Waiting patiently for the nurse to return, her train of thoughts fast-forward to the last week, this current week that is almost ending. This whole week, she tried to look for an answer to the reason why she felt upset. Still, there is no answer. This pain, not knowing what's causing it, is it really worth enduring? When will time run out and finally free her?

To My Dearest Lovely Sky

2010-05-27T00:46:00.000-06:00

My

Answer

Is

YES.

Sleep Deprivation x____x;

2010-05-25T06:46:00.000-06:00

daybyday by ~popoks
I've come to realize, I do not sleep as much as I say I do. Yes, I may lay in bed fooling around with my laptop, doing absolutely nothing, but I stay awake most of the time. Once again, I did not sleep. The reason for early posting? Well, most likely I won't be posting at all for a few days or so.....since I actually want to study for upcoming test. Unbelievable? Yes. Horrifying? Extremely. I have no clue why I'm currently trying to change my habits, but I'm really pushing myself to the limit. But...I guess it's good for me, right? =____=; Anywhoo~ Sora wanted me to phone her this morning to wake her up, sadly she did not wake up at all. I have a feeling she wont be in school early, too. That's quite...saddening. Not to mention, she asked me to dress her up all pretty today. Well, whatever, it's her choice to wake up or not.

Quick recent updates before I go catch the bus:
˚°I successfully hacked Photoshop CS5 >;D
˚°Making new layouts :3
˚°I did not start on my English poster...sadly
˚°Planning to skip English class today...
˚°Most likely killing my brain cells....

Well~ 'till next time? :3

Emptiness

2010-05-24T21:21:00.000-06:00

when a heart breaks by ~popoks
I must admit that I have all the luxury that I have never asked for. I have all these fashionable clothes, shoes, bags, and accessories, as well as this laptop. Walking around as I am right now, I may look like a pampered princess and all I need is a tiara. I may sound selfish right now, but even though I have everything that a lot of people wished they had, I feel like there is something always missing, someone's missing. Yes, I am being really selfish since I have no right to say this, because I have all these friends that care about me, and I have this amazing guy that I've been crushing on since... I don't know...since I met him. Really, I may seem really close to Sora, but I really am not. I haven't been seeing her, and I am pretty sure I wont be able to see her for a while. You may say I can see her through summer break, after all the exams are done. But it really doesn't work that way, we both have summer school, then family trips right after summer school. So even then, we really have no time to see each other. I was going to hang out with her this long weekend, but I guess that failed. In this world, you need weapons in life, or you might as well die yourself. My weapons are not complete, or rather, I dropped one of them without knowing. I dropped one of them unknowingly to gain another, I grabbed more than I can handle. This is why I call myself selfish over and over again. Because it's true.

Sora, be my sky, be my weapon. The world feels empty without you. Just like before, paint me a rainbow.

^^ Bunny Cursor~

2010-02-25T22:00:00.000-07:00

Just thought I should share cursors I made. .---. However, it doesn't really work unless you download Cursor FX, an application that allows you to use png files as cursors instead of cur or ani files.

So~ for me, this work better than converting files...

bunny cursor download

Cursor FX Tutorial

Creating the graphics

I'm going to show you how to create and put together the actual cursor, but something you have to do on your own is create the graphics for your cursor. Skinners use a wide variety of tools to create their works, including 3D graphic programs that create stunning animations. However, that is not a necessity, you can make your graphics with any image editor such as Photoshop, Paint Shop Pro, Paint.NET, etc. The only thing you really need to make sure of, is to export your graphics in the .PNG format as it will keep the transparency that you make.

If you want to create animations from static images, the best tool to use is AniUtil. It will create a "strip" of images in the .PNG format that you can use in CursorFX.

CursorFX Theme Editor

As you can see in the screenshot above, the theme editor has vastly improved. You can now see all the cursor states at once, and most of the tools you need to make the cursor are all on one tab.

You can find the theme properties in the File menu. Here you can input the theme name, author name, e-mail, description, etc. Also from the file menu you have the common options such as "new", "open", and "save". Saving your theme will put it into the .cursorfx format which is compatible with both CursorFX and CursorXP.

You can also apply your new cursor from the file menu as well.

Creating a Theme

Once your images are ready, and you have a new theme started in the CursorFX Theme Editor, then it's time for us to start building a new cursor. There are 20 cursor states that we can change in the theme editor. These cursor states are going to define what cursor image is shown for that particular state. An example would be the "normal state" is the cursor you see and use the most, and "text select" will show the cursor that changes when you are going to enter text.

Select the cursor state you want to change, and click the "import graphics" button that is near the bottom right of the window. From there you can browse and choose your image for that selected state. For my example I will change the "normal select" state with a simple cursor image I made.

Imported images

As seen in the screenshot above, the image I made and imported is now occupied in the "normal select" area. The next step is assigning the hotspot, which is the active part of the cursor image. Clicking your selected cursor with your pointer will move the target to where you want this active spot to be. You can also refine the target by adjust the x and y values of the hotspot configuration.

If you want to remove the image you just place, you can either import another image in its place, or click the "remove this cursor" button. Remember that it will only apply to the cursor state that is selected.

The cursors we are changing here are in the normal state. If you want to add a different image to the pressed state, then click "view pressed state" and import the images as we did before.

Animated Cursors

What we did before is the basic steps of creating a cursor theme. If you want to create an animated cursor you just follow the same basic steps, but this time you will use the "strip" of images that we talked about before. Once that image is imported you need to enter the number of frames the image has in the Frames value area. You can also set the image to loop by checking the option box.

Another option you have for the animation is setting the interval between frames. This will determine has fast or slow your animation will appear. If you want to alternative the animation, or enter a separate animation script, you can also do that in this section.

Configuration options

All you have to do now is repeat these steps for the remaining cursor states, and your cursor is done. You can now apply the cursor and save to upload to the CursorFX gallery on WinCustomize.

More information about CursorFX can be found at: www.cursorfx.com

cr: Island Dog

.day ( d r e a m )

2010-02-24T20:32:00.000-07:00

Toggii's first layout~ ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ (Winter-Love)
10.02.23-10.03.23

download

. s t o r y || t e l l e r .

2010-02-24T20:30:00.000-07:00

Wonseungi's second layout~ xP (Diary-Wishes-Month)
10.02.22-10.03.22

download

Cafe || Love

2010-02-24T20:18:00.000-07:00

Wonseungi's first layout~ ^^ (Monkey-Love-Cafe)
10.01.22-10.02.22

download